What not to say in software marketing…

what the hell does this mean?

“BSM Routes to Value are exactly that—targeted solutions that help IT drive business value, with defined milestones that guide and measure your progress from basic achievement to higher levels of maturity”

I am still trying to figure it out and I think I get it, but if you remember from a few of my earlier posts, I am all about simplicity. As a man of average intelligence I am having a hard time relating to this piece of marketing glob in trying to figure out what this actually means…..in plain English. I understand driving business value, but what the hell are defined milestones and what is basic achievement to high levels of maturity mean? Does it mean that if I apply this particular piece of software it will mean that my environment will become more mature.

Plain speak please. Don’t cloud your message with buzz-barf and expect the common man, let alone an educated IT person to understand what this means.

Here are 2 other examples of some of this buzz-barf that I found on this page…again..plain English please!

“integrates service impact management with event processing automation to build a service model that maps IT components to the business services they support, consolidating, enriching, and correlating events, as well as determining root causes and the impact of events on business services.”

Not only is the above a run on sentence, but it is so fragmented I am still trying to comprehend how the word “enrich” can be in the same sentence as some of the other fairly technical jargon that we are obviously supposed to understand. In addition, I am also on a power bar high at the moment..so my brain is at maximum capacity.

Here is the other nugget of fun that we need to decode.

“provides a proven suite that adapts to processes to align identities and access requirements, offering capabilities that include user administration & provisioning, password management, Web access management, directory management & visualization, federation, audit and compliance”

Another run on sentence…there is a shocker. It also appears that that this piece of software does alot…I wonder how much it is and how long it will take to implement to get all of what they say it will get me. Chances are, by the time I implement it, this piece will obsolete and it will become shelf-ware.

While I will not call out this company publicly, I will say this. Please for the love of all that is Holy…simplfy your message to the market. This goes for all of the software companies out there. Please stop the buzz, incoherent, ramble barf that is so prevalent in large software company environments.

I welcome your comments.

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